English Adventures in Taiwan Supermarkets

Caveat: I hesitated before writing this post, because I don’t want to appear to be making fun of people having trouble with English. I know that that every time I say something in Chinese, I make more numerous and more ridiculous errors than these. 

Yet there is a difference. In many countries including Taiwan, English is considered more as a decoration than as a way to impart information. Thus people blithely name companies, design packages, and commission neon signs with complete disregard for whether the English actually carries any meaning. Even for public or official purposes, they never double-check with a “native speaker”.

Every visitor notices with relish the surreal quality of the ambient English. Despite good intentions, the locals have an incredible tendency not just for getting it wrong, but for doing so spectacularly and memorably.

The simplest errors are small mistakes in spelling, although these can have a large effect. While snake is occasionally eaten in Taiwan, and there is even a Snake Alley featuring these restaurants, “snack” was obviously meant in this aisle marker. Likewise, in the second photo for “Smowdrop” cookies, the small deviation from “Snowdrop” makes the word peculiarly unappetizing.

SMOWDROP Square Cake Store

Many foods do not have regular English names, and strangeness creeps in when attempting a translation. These small, whole fish are frequently encountered in Taiwan, but this was not a good name for them:

Spinach Soup with Silver Fish

"Silver fish" sounds decidedly unpleasant, but the second attempt turned out even worse:

Everyone loves their wontons to be full of larvae.

Déjà vu: Sometimes the humor derives when a package is a clone of a more famous product.

Separated at Birth?

Look familiar?

Since the use of English is decorative, there is a tendency to use fancy words, resulting in severe thesaurus abuse. 

A hectograph is a type of mimeograph that uses a non-edible gel to copy stencils. 

"Chocolate Chip" must have sounded too common.

I am guessing that the “Happily Times” in this “House Drean” were meant to be ‘sweet’, but they came up with “treacly”.

Sometimes it is not easy to discern the original thought behind the translation, resulting is some of the most bewildering examples, such as this brand of hot dogs. Even the Chinese part is somewhat confused, assuring us both of “Japanese-style flavor” and “Fresh European spices”.

Don’t you want to bite into an Emulsion brand hot dog?

The English might be technically correct but still lame, such as using “House of Steamed Potato” as a brand name. The Chinese version sounds slightly better. By the way, why the post mark? 

House of Steamed Potato

Yappy Puffs—Take Easy!

Some brand names are just plain rude:

This example might have originated in Europe—no stranger itself to eccentric English. 

I’m not sure what can explain this picture—these peanut butter cookies have no cheese of any type in the ingredients.

Despite limited success with short words and phrases, designers frequently try their luck with more extended passages:

As always, click to enlarge.

“Sweat” for “sweet” was an unfortunate mistake on these chocolates. Is Volunteer’s Day really Valentine’s Day?

Perhaps there is nothing wrong with this last picture, but I find it amusing. It reminds me of the lyrics “Eat a plate of fine pig’s knuckles, and the undertaker chuckles” from the old song Some Little Bug.

Do you want a knuckle sandwich?

I find it fascinating how mistakes made in rendering a second language reveal the mindset and characteristics of the speakers attempting to use it. Sometimes they employ their own language patterns substituting English words, which rarely works. Other times they try to follow an English rule, but get into trouble with English idiom—some words for example have a correct basic meaning but cannot be used to describe foods. 

Taiwan, like most countries, is a synthesis of many cultures and languages, and slip-ups like these remind us that language should be used with a sense of fun, and not to make judgments against people.

All photos by the author; none have been edited or modified.

The Cutting Edge: Chinese Lithographed-Tin Box Cutters

Lithographed tin has long been a favorite of collectors. People are charmed by the incredible vintage graphics found on such objects as containers, trays, lapel pins, toys, and coin banks. 

Tin was an inexpensive material, and there is often a folk art or popular-culture appeal to tin items. The material was often used in Asia, and one of its more ephemeral uses was for folding tin box cutters—those small disposable knives with a razor blade inside. 

 

The older examples are brightly decorated with various popular themes, such as this Roadster (note it says “Readster”) . I love the looks of this car and wish I could drive it—does anyone recognize the intended vehicle?

Most of these look like mid 20th century, and since Mighty Mouse was introduced in 1944, at least we get a terminus post quem (date after which) for the box cutter version. It is rather rusted, but finding another one would not be easy.

 

The Hand logo cutters give two graphics for the price of one—the hand and the small map of Taiwan. Notice that in the newer one on the left, the lifeline is longer; I guess that the Hand company found it undesirable to show a short life-line on a product that contained a razor-sharp blade.

Click to enlarge this or any other photo.

 

There apparently was also time for a manicure between versions, to trim those scary long nails on the older (right side) version. Incidentally, the Hand company is still in existence, although the current incarnation of the cutter has a plain stainless-steel case.

Animals were frequent mascots for these knives. Tigers have great significance in Chinese culture and are used in many company names and logos, but I think the duck and penguin were chosen more for their cuteness.

 

I find it interesting that every single word and letter on these is in English. I’m not sure if these were ever exported; perhaps they are an early testament to the popularity of English product names in Asia. 

Although these were very inexpensive products, each one carries a brand name, and in fact all of these examples were made by two companies. The Hand company made of course the Hand ones and also the Mandarin Duck. Sam Yu made the others, the Tiger one carrying an abbreviated SY trademark.

 

Why are these sharp blades decorated with cartoons? They probably were meant to appeal to children, and intended as school supplies. Even today stationery stores sell cutters with cartoon characters such as Hello Kitty on them, often in sets including rulers, erasers, etc. I can imagine the reaction in an American elementary school today if kids started carrying cartoon-razors.

 

Chinese lithographed tin box cutters are great fun to keep an eye out for, and you never know what design will pop up next. I’m not sure which is my favorite—perhaps the Roadster, but mostly I like them together as a group. Let me know if you have a favorite, or if you have encountered these little gems in your own collecting.

(All photos taken by the author.)

The Worst New Product of 2012…so far

Everyone has seen those toy pinwheels whose handle is a clear plastic tube filled with candy. I have also seen them with other toys on top, notably colorful, pose-able hands. These fun toys did not prepare me for what was in the store the other day:

The candy-filled fly swatter. Perhaps the idea is that if the sugar in the candy attracts flies, then you will have a way to dispatch them.

 

It is difficult to think of a less appetizing complement for candy than a fly swatter.

The candy itself reminds me of those sachet pellets my mother once put in drawers and linen closets. That was years ago, but still when removing drawers from chests, we sometimes find those little pellets rolling around inside. I didn't suppose at the time that they were making any impression at all, but coming across them now strongly evokes pleasant memories of the house I grew up in.

I’m not sure if anyone is going to form similar nostalgic memories of these candy fly-swatters. Let me know if you have seen a similar-level product that was yet more appalling. The real question is that now that we have candy fly-swatters, how will the designers crown this achievement? The fact that we know that they will try makes an adventure of walking into the store every day.

True Class Shows Itself in Taiwan

Reggie Darling has given us a set of civilized rules guaranteed to restore decorum to the experience of dining in fine restaurants. Yet he fails to give us a simple way of finding those restaurants in the first place. Luckily, in Taiwan the government has taken the mystery out of this difficulty by posting the following sign in Taipei's Main Station. What could be easier?

New Yorkers, eat your heart out. This is the Big League.